Make The Change

It occured to me one day that I had to make a change in my life.  My mother, the most important person in my life, the one who gave me life, had suddenly been forced to leave this world.  She died; without warning, reason, or merit, and without time for any of us, including her, to prepare.  It was a devastation to me, to all of us, beyond description. 

My grief was insurmountable.  I was unprepared to continue living in a world that did not include her.  After three years of mourning and languishing in the dark abyss, I consulted a therapist.  At the time, I did not fully realize or accept that I was seeking help to deal with the loss of my mother.  I thought I was initiating therapy with a view to resolving some anxiety issues that I had been struggling with for years.  It didn`t take long however to get to the core of the matter, and with the help of a very qualified and empathic therapist, I was able to come to terms with my loss.

But it didn`t end there.  I began to question everything.  My mother`s sudden passing forced me to re-evaluate my life and in doing so, I came to the realization that over the years, I had slowly lost sight of who I really was.  Her death snapped everything into focus, making it clear that if I was to save myself, I had no choice but to start the long and arduous journey that would eventually re-unite me with my Self.  

When I made the decision to start the journey towards self-actualization, I knew that it would be difficult, that it would disrupt my life as I knew it, and that it would take immense emotional effort and time.  I learned that only 2% of the population actually reach the summit, and that in fact, the vast majority of people never even attempt the journey.  And there is a reason why.  The road to self-actualization is riddled with obstacles, not the least of which is a lack of understanding from those around you.  They will only see that you are immersed in self-analysis and will no doubt consider it to be self-centered and selfish.  The fact of the matter is that it is not possible to even fathom self-actualization without deep, consistent, and unremittant self-examination.  This is the price that must be paid for attempting to reach the higher plain.  That place in the sun where you will become all that you were meant to be.  The place that will allow you to be your authentic self; that will give you peace of mind and comfort in the skin you were born in.  That final goal where you will come to fully believe in yourself, without doubt, without confusion and without apology.  And in the end, once you have reached this higher plain, you will be better equipped to reach out to others with empathy and true caring. 

But before you get there, you must be prepared to fight the fight, hang on to the dream, and keep your eye on the light.  You can be sure that it`s there, just outside the end of the tunnel.

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