I Am An Introvert – Read My Mind

I, like most introverts, love to write.   Give me any subject and I`ll research it and write about it.  Easy peasy.  When I was in school, I used to love english composition class because on Fridays the teacher would give everyone a different title and ask that we build a composition around it.  I thrived on these assignments and always looked forward to them.  Not so for the rest of the class.  It seemed everyone but me despised those writing assignments.   Although I enjoy writing about many things, I am especially compelled to, and find deep fulfillment in, simply expressing my thoughts.

When I was a highly sensitive, introverted and shy seven-year old, my french-speaking family moved to Monterey California where I was put into english school in the middle of the school year.  I may as well have been shipped to another planet in another galaxy, such was the vastness of my alienation.  My outer landscape was suddenly so incredibly foreign to me that I simply withdrew from it entirely.  Into my head I went.  It was simply easier and less frightening than trying to scale the language barrier, aka, “the wall”, that was preventing me from connecting with my environment.

Then came a moment in time that I believe to this day drastically changed the course of my life.  One day when I struggled to understand what my teacher was saying to me from beyond “the wall”, she angrily jabbed at my head with her long yellow nails, repeating ever more loudly whatever it was she was trying to say.   My highly sensitive self burned with indignation and humiliation that day and I was forever robbed of any confidence to speak publicly without fear of rejection.  That incident marked the beginning of a life-long mute period, and an evermore deepening of my introversion.

Our introverted personalities are designed to some extent for us by genetics but I believe where we fall on the introversion/extraversion continuum is determined by environmental factors.  I was already an introvert, but that nasty experience ensured that I would occupy a spot at the more extreme end of Jung`s scale.

Many introverts experience mute moments or periods in their lives – sometimes by choice, sometimes not.  Verbal self-expression doesn’t always come easy for some of us.  In certain circumstances, it takes monumental effort.  I suspect this is the reason why most introverts love to write.  If we can’t speak our minds, then at least we can have you read our minds.

The bottom line is we all have something to say and we all have a need and a right to express it.  Writing is the perfect vehicle for the introvert to be heard.

Photo Link :  http://www.newgrounds.com/art/view/bluehippo/inside-the-mind-of-sbc

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11 Responses to I Am An Introvert – Read My Mind

  1. Nina Renee says:

    Very well put, L. And I would never know English is your second language, as you write so beautifully! :-)

    • lthibault11 says:

      Thank you Nina. I am lucky enough to have learned english at the age where language is simply absorbed through osmosis. I can’t take credit for it. Thanks so much for coming by.

      Lise

  2. Zen Greenway says:

    I feel the same way. Though, fortunately, I didn’t have a nasty teacher experience like you did. (For the record, that person should never have been a teacher and it sucks that you had to go through that.) I always prefer writing to speaking. I am particularly terrified of the telephone because all I can do is speak. There’s no clarifying facial expression or gesture that might get me off the hook for that really stupid thing that just popped out of my mouth. Funny, because when I was a teen you couldn’t get me off the thing. Maybe when I was a teen I didn’t notice when I sounded stupid!

    • lthibault11 says:

      Zen, you are funny.. I too am “fearful” of the phone. In fact I avoid speaking on the phone as much as I can. I need processing time before I can respond in any intelligent way and you just don’t get that on the phone lol. Writing gives me that extra bit of time to reflect.

      On another note, no fair that we can’t comment on your beautifully written and thoughtful posts. I understand and respect your reasons, but still.. No fair ;)lol

  3. irishkatie says:

    Well put.

    There is…emotion in your writing. And this might sound weird to say …but its an “introverted” feel. Not bad…just…quiet. But not quiet as in nothing to say … but a quiet that has words and thoughts floating about.

    *wonders if that made any sense*

    If you don’t mind….thinks I will follow your a journey a bit….

    • lthibault11 says:

      Lol, I think the rain we had all day had me a little zoned out. Interesting comment about my writing style. My other posts may read a little differently; depends on my mood I think and the subject of my posts. I usually like to tackle various theories in psychology in the context of personal growth. Once in a while, like yesterday, I veer way off that path, lol. No doubt about the introversion, but I am quite content in my own skin that way. Thanks for commenting!

      • irishkatie says:

        Nods about some of your other posts. I have perused them *smiles* … I actually plan to post to a few I think.

        When I first started blogging (about 2 months ago…I am kinda new at this), I read in the help section some things about blogging. How if you have a theme and all it will help readers know what you are generally writing about. And I think that is very valid. But then I thought to myself … this was more for me. (That thinking has since morphed a little.) So I have decided I will blog just things I feel like blogging…and it is really random. (You can read that as, “scattered,” I will not take offense lol.)

        I think yours is a little like that too at times. Perhaps a lot if blogs are. I figure, themes are good. I like learning about things…but realizes, I like learning about people more. And people have different moods, different phases they go through … and I think its okay to have it reflected in your blogs nod nods.

        And also, I can sort of go on and on…so apologizes up front for potentially hijacking your blogs at times with my ramblings. Always feel free to delete them….esp if I go wayyyyyyy off topic lol.

      • lthibault11 says:

        No problem! I appreciate your thoughts. I do try to stay on subject but sometimes I just don’t feel like it! I love psychology and I love theory, so that is what I mostly like to talk about. Having said that, it takes a fair bit of work and research and I don’t always have the time (nor the inspiration). I am not very comfortable sharing too much in the personal sense, but I am getting better!

  4. Pingback: Natural Habitats of an Introvert « Real Rest is the Best

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